Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize