I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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