Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
