haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize