U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize