I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
