you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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