We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
