How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
