well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
