There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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