Your tits are I can't wait for
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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