i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Someone came in the potted fern
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
how does that bad decision feel?
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