my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
