he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
