You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
