Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just blew my weed a kiss
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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