i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
