if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
