6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Randomize
