last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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