god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
