terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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