Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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