Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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