what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
