mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
