He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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