I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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