College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
