i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Randomize
