Soap is not a condiment
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
