I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize