So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
