I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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