lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
4 words: hood of his car
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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