I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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