lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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