He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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