I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
