It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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