I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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