break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
