your room smells of hookers.
And success
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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