none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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