Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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