Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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