Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He felt like a one man threesome
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
