You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
