playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
