i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
