just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
