i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
