Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
