They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
