whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Im part way to drunk.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
