Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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