My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
