how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
