I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
